I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize