Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize
