So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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