i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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