just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
