I wish they made helmets for livers.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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