just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize