I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize