My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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