theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You're a waste of cheezeits
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize