You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
