something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
