cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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