i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
