it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize