Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
