I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Pants 0. Shit 1.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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