I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
