Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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