Soap is not a condiment
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
she peed on how many people?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
