the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
whose ass print is on the piano?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
