come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
