i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
