he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
