so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
