This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
