please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
