love makes seman taste better
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
