He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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