Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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