According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
