I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
420 ftw
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Randomize
