Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize