Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
