I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Your penis caused this!
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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