stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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