Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
