I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
