Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
