Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
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