So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize