U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
