Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
