yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
