I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
