my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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