What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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