Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
