Your mouth is God's brothel.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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