I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
