he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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