I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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