C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
