I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
