my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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