my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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