What did we do last night that was yellow?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
