well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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