Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
