I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
