and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Fuck me I smell like cheese
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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