Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
