your thong is hanging out like whoa
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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