12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize