My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize