so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
She even gives head with a lisp.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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