kristin has been a bad kristin
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
