Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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