how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
