i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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