so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
foreskin is a definite game changer
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
