You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
